3 Tools to Stop Escaping Through Food
Have you ever felt alone? I have.
I know how many people are out of a job and physically alone. I feel fortunate for my family and work.
At the same time, I often crave time to myself. A break from hearing my kids saying “mommy.” My old way to get a break was with food.
I told myself that a quick bite of ice cream or of my kids’ leftovers would do the trick. Then I could go back to “real” life.
But the guilt about eating would come up and the original feelings I was trying to escape from would still be there, just numbed by the food.
It was a vicious cycle...I felt alone.
I felt like I was drowning.
I figured out that in order to avoid this cycle I had to learn how to manage these feelings in other ways, and you can too.
How?
1) First, stop beating yourself up for turning to food.
Turning to food is how you have been supporting yourself for years! How else would you have managed without it ? What if you bring in some self-compassion? Beating yourself up and guilt do not actually do anything positive.
Let's try this exercise... Write out how food has actually helped you get this far. Sound strange? Food has been a support for you. You may no longer want depend on it, but let's give it some credit for getting you this far.
Feel free to send me your list. I am always happy to support you with this :)
2) Start noticing what you are numbing.
Are you stressed? Bored? Anxious? Mad? Scared? Do you need more time to yourself?
Write out what you notice. We often wait until our emotions escalate to a 10/10 and by that time we go straight for the food to numb ourselves. Notice what you feel and write out what that emotion feels like in your mind and body. Maybe it is an gnawing feeling in your tummy or a heaviness in your chest. Let's start noticing what is happening in our bodies. Overtime this will allow you to stop numbing yourself and start feeling.
3) See if you can add in an activity before you go for the food.
For me, these moments of emotional take-over felt like it was happening so fast that before I knew it, food was in my mouth. I needed to notice when the feelings were starting to escalate. So, I would take a pause before it felt out of control.
Here are some ways to do this. When you start noticing the emotions coming up, take a pause—don’t wait for them to heighten. Then, do something supportive for yourself.
How about a quick call to a friend to vent? Or a quick walk around the block? Even 10 jumping jacks can do wonders.
Learning to start to sit with emotions is hard. I struggled with this for years. It felt icky and uncomfortable. I couldn’t understand why it was so hard. It felt overwhelming and daunting. I started practicing slowly—it gets easier. Just like riding a bike.