I lost over 25 years of my life
Here is my truth...
I still grieve that I lost over 25 years of enjoying my life. I lost dinners, going out with friends, parties, dating, and just living life without obsessing about my body.
All my energy went to making my body smaller, exercise and ensuring I looked a certain way. It was the only thing that I focused on. Everything else was secondary.
Every conversation revolved about being too fat, how much I ate, my latest diet, how other people gained or lost weight.
I would love showing myself off when I lost weight and spent months hiding from everyone when I gained it back.
Did you know that diets are set up to fail? This shame cycle is unavoidable if you focus on dieting.
When I went deeper it all clicked. It was never about the food. I learned that it was really about learning to cope with my emotions and stop numbing them with food.
So what does that look like now?
The thought that I gave food so much power over my life still makes me sad, but I am so grateful that I was able to make peace with food and see it for what it is... something to nourish me, something to enjoy and appreciate. That is it. It's not a weapon or an emotional rollercoaster anymore.
When we start making peace with our emotions, that’s when food can be what it was created for. To enjoy and nourish us.