If it’s not food, what are you really craving?

It’s funny the things we accept as “good” versus “bad.”

Particularly when it comes to what we allow ourselves to feel. It seems acceptable for us to feel happy and show it, but we can’t show anger. If we do, we might get labeled and feel judged. Anger is so often considered a “bad” emotion – one to be quashed.

When it comes down to it, these are all just emotions. All of them.

We all have feelings and these feelings want to be seen, felt, and heard so they can move past us.

Have you ever seen a child work through their emotions?

You hear a cry. Jonathan hit Ben. Ben comes running up to you, crying, and says, “Jonathan hit me!” Ben gets comforted and 5 minutes later he is back playing with Jonathan.

In this situation, Ben felt and expressed his feelings, and was able to move through them to get to the other side.

As adults, we don’t allow ourselves to feel our feelings and work through them. We are so quick to use our logic and shut down our feelings.

We all need to re-learn how to feel without numbing ourselves with food. What we are really craving is to get our needs met, to feel, to express, to be heard, to be loved.

No matter how old we are, we all have a little child inside us that has these needs.

Here are 3 ways to start working on figuring out what you are really craving:

1)    We need to make time for the little child inside of us.

Let’s start making time to get to know her. Check in with yourself and try to get to know her again. Start by asking her what does she like? Does she like to play outside? Does she like to color? If you aren’t sure, let’s start exploring…

2)    Start making a list of things you think she may like.

If you find you don’t have clear ideas right away, start by trying a few different things and see what they feel like. Maybe try picking up a new hobby – check out some singing or guitar tutorials on youtube. Or start a puzzle. I went through a period of time when I would try one new thing every few weeks to start learning more about my inner child. At first it felt strange and I didn’t know if I was “doing it right,” but after a while I started to learn. Not sure where to start? We can brainstorm together J. Just reach out and we can start growing your list. 

3)    Start honoring how she is feeling.

Everyone’s inner child has needs and feelings. Let’s hear them and honor them. Why do we abandon ourselves and prioritize others? Start making time to connect to what she needs in the moment. Check in on her 2 times a day for 2 minutes and just see how she is doing right at that moment, and do not judge her for it. Over time, she will let you know what she needs. Maybe it’s time alone? Maybe it’s time for a walk or a nap? Start small and this connection will grow.

When we work on discovering our inner needs, we can start getting our true needs met.

We will stop trying to replace our needs with a short-term solution that doesn’t really fill us.

When we fill our true needs, food becomes just that, food.